Archive for August, 2013

the addiction cycle continues

Posted: August 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

high

trying to limit

trying to stop

stopped

 

withdrawal

teased

tempted

gave in

again

and again

 

relapse is the shittiest part

the second downfall is always worse than the first

 

[cherryred 2013]

nakaw lang

Posted: August 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

paulit-ulit na nahuhulog sa bawat pagtingin

panakaw na pagsulyap sa iyong ngiti at mga mata

pwede bang itigil na lamang ang lahat

pause muna

pagkatapos magnanakaw ako ng isang halik at mahigpit na yakap

pagpitik ng daliri ko’y balik na ang lahat sa paggalaw

makikipagtawanan ako sayo na para bang wala kahit katiting na kirot sa pusong hatid ang ating muling pagkikita

 

[cherryred 2009]

of jumpcuts and memories

Posted: August 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

i looked at you carefully as if memorizing your face
while trying to convince myself that
this
is
not
a
dream
you are talking, laughing with me

the aftermath:
i tried to cherish every moment even if it was spinning to oblivion with every word uttered,
every move mustered
this is what makes it hard each time
i have to keep myself sober to remember clearly our conversation
like trying to wake up instantly to remember a line i heard in my dream
that would turn out nice if only i grasped it while still in the state of REM, but i didn’t

i filled my mind with fragments of memories from that night to sustain the need for your presence until i think i had enough. now i’m trying to silence the forbidden music but thoughts of you keep haunting me.

YOUR VOICE WOULDN’T LET ME SLEEP AT NIGHT

we are together in my thoughts
drinking and talking and laughing
i close my eyes and smile
knowing that your voice would soon take over me
and i will feel embraced by your art

[cherryred]

 

I never meant
to hasten the wilting of a star

but instead of gazing in peace as always in these passive outskirts,
I rested my eyes one night in reckless abandon

and missed your fall. You kept shadowed in secret your bent stem,
now broken. I missed my chance of making a wish come true.

Now lying beneath your horizon bed where you landed,
you cry tears of petal light

a perfume of sadness in the sky
as sweet as pale blue.

God should have arrested my arms
which yearned too much till they lost vigor

reaching up to the black sky fields
to hold you, but then trembling to let go.

But oh I should have held tighter
even with that careful fear for holding beauty

found in immense stars tiny and flickering,
and in the rarest moments, shooting down

so tender, so frail,
so subtle, so fleeting

what else can beauty be
but that of an ephemeral flower in the sky?

Such as light, that wanes like a whisper, a scent,
I could not hold on to it forever.

But oh I should have held you tighter
for none is worse than emaciation into beggar bones

starved from the touch of sallow skin that glows
pale blue sweeter with traces of my soul.

I can only blow a kiss to your sky now.
I shall wait the distance of light years unsleeping

in readiness, with open eyes and arms to catch
the star I’ve gazed on in homage

during all my restless nights that needed to drink
the dearest blue repose.

choosedays

Posted: August 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

pero mas madalas sa hindi, wala ka naman talagang choice

SIRENITA

Posted: August 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

You will choose

the place

and weapons, love.

And when I fall

let not my blood

be fiction

nor my wounds

the reasons.

 

Ricardo de Ungria (from Pidgin Levitations)