Archive for July, 2014

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“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We shake our heads.

“Gross. That was god damn cheesy.”

We laugh and take shots of our whiskey. As if drinking will make us regain our coolness. We look at each other and seal the moment with a brief kiss. You smile. I smile back. There were no words but I know that we’re in a good place.

I never imagined it to be like this. And no, I’m not complaining.

“I love you.” “I love you, too.”

We smile. I knew that moment you dropped your guard. You knew that moment I let go of my pinky at the edge of the cliff.

Free fall.

 

 

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surrender

Posted: July 25, 2014 in Uncategorized

It is raining and you are not beside me now. You are probably still asleep, taking a rest from yesterday’s tiredness, trying to be ready for the busy day ahead. It is raining and you are not with me. There is something wrong with this. My skin longs for your warmth every time, especially when the weather slaps its fucked-upness on my face forcing me to take it personally.

The cold is seeping in. My hands are trying to hold my pillow as tight as I can. I clutch on my blanket with hopes of getting comfort from it.

I started thinking about you. How your smile when I hand your coffee is probably stronger than caffeine in shaking dreams from my hair. I remember how your curses in between sips of scotch intoxicates me. I shake my head and smile on the flashbacks of the shape of your mouth saying my name, the memory of how your eyes greet me upon waking up.

We can go on telling the world we are happy. But that is just lame. We are brave. I gave you my spine and you gave me yours. The dice was loaded from the start. We jumped off a cliff and marveled at the thought of our bones breaking, excited ourselves with the feeling of our skin being torn apart.

It was never about the love we are willing to give. It was always about the surrender.

Happy and afraid but brave. Thank you for the gift of something tender and brutal.

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